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Nino Ricci

Award-winning Author

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Tim Hortons to Take Over Toronto Libraries

Photo by mjb84In an historic union of public and private sector interests, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has inked a deal to have the Tim Hortons coffee empire take over management of the Toronto Public Library system.

“It’s a natural fit,” said Ford, who credited his brother Doug with the inspiration for the scheme. “I mean, the only difference between a library and a Tim Hortons is the coffee. You’ve basically got a lot of lowlifes sitting around effing the dog all day.”

“Mind you, the coffee might actually make libraries worth the trip,” added Doug, who will be quitting his position as a city councillor to take up a senior management position with Tim Hortons. “From where I’m sitting, Roll Up The Rim has done a lot more for literacy than any commie-pinko novelist ever has.”

Tim Hortons president Paul House says he has big plans for Toronto’s libraries, including a massive sell-off of old inventory to make room for retail space.

“We just want to even the balance a bit,” said House. “At the end of the day, your average Joe isn’t going to miss Plato or Joyce or any of those guys.  But don’t take away his double-double!”

Tim Hortons founder Tim Horton could not be reached for comment.

PHOTO BY MJB84

Filed Under: News Archive Tagged With: Doug Ford, Margaret Atwood, Rob Ford, Tim Hortons, Toronto Public Library

Nino Ricci

About Nino

Nino Ricci is the author of award-winning novel The Origin of Species and of the Lives of the Saints trilogy, adapted as a miniseries starring Sophia Loren. For more on Nino's life and work, including his acclaimed biography of Pierre Trudeau, contact Nino's parole officer. Or you can also poke around this nifty … Read more.

News

Librissimi

Lino Rufo, Dom Fiore, Andrea Ramolo and Nino Ricci open this year's Librissimi, Toronto's Italian book festival, with a tribute in music and spoken word to the … [Read More...]

I Migliori Awards

Nino Ricci has been named one of the recipients of the Pirandello Lyceum's 2025 I Migliori Awards. This year marks the 40th anniversary of an award that Boston … [Read More...]

Write on the French River

From May 25th to the 30th Nino Ricci will be joining writers Don Gillmor and Alison Wearing at the 12th annual Write on the French River Creative Writing … [Read More...]

Amnesty International Book Club

Check out the Amnesty International Book Club, the largest free book club in Canada. Members enjoy lots of perks, including free signed books, invitations to author events, and free merchandise. You'll also get discussion guides and a chance to share the authors' own insights on their work.

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